Stereotypical retards

Stereotypical retards

In this world, there are cool people like me, and in order to have cool people there must be retards to contrast the coolness or coolness wouldn't exist! We only know what cold feels like when we have felt heat and vice versa. With the overwhelming amount of retards around, its certain that we would cross paths with one, you can run for now, but you can never hide! So, learn about them! so you can deal with them. Grandson's art of war, way number whatever says: know your enemy and know yourself, one hundred battles fought, one hundred victories! If all else fails, you can always disguise yourself as one of them temporary in hope that someday somewhere someone would overthrow the retarded supremacy.

Stereotypical retards are retards stereotyped for easy studying, stereotypes are well stereotypes! so the descriptions really does not apply to every single stereotyped person, you really have to take stereotypes with a pinch of salt. If you can't do even this, you are a retard too! congrats!

I. Hooligans - made in singapore (Ah bengs)

Singapore hooligans are everywhere, from the kiddo wannabes to the real gangsters with real gangs and tattoos. They blast techno music through their earphones, have long hair and long nails both of which are dirty and unkempt, as well as do-it-yourself cheapskate dyed hair, they wear slippers with almost anything except school uniform. And of course who can forget the Ah beng trademark pointed comb and dragon T-shirts! Lastly if you are ever in doubt if a person is truly an full blooded Ah beng after he displayed all the above characteristic, just ask if he reads. Ah bengs are apparently too cool for books!

Hooligans' solution to any dispute, is simply enough, violence. Upon any slight discomfort you may cause to their huge ego brought about by their low self esteem, you are sure to be challenged to a fight! Yet these fights are always unfair, they will always have the advantage in numbers! How much more retarded can you get when you challenge people to fights that are handicapped!

Imagine the stereotypical singaporean hooligan saying something like "Not happy ah! come out settle la!" Of course, They can't speak or write properly for nuts, lest express themselves properly, so I shall do the favor of translating what they really mean for the layman. What they really mean by "Not happy ah! come out settle la!" is:
"If you don't apologize now, I am challenging you to a fight, however I will not fight you alone because I am a coward, bring your gang members and meet me here, I will observe from afar, I'll show myself and beat you all up if you have less people, If you have more people, I'll run!"

Seriously, that is exactly how things always unfold. I've had my share of these retarded fights with hooligans because I am too manly to back down from challenges, Fist fights are alright, I've been in a few, so has most guys. If your a male and have never thrown a real hard punch on someone's face before, sorry to say but your not a real man yet. Fights between guys are in fact not uncivilized but honorable as long as theres fair play, Just like the sun sets, the tides rises, real men fight! for ego for pride.

However gangsters' ethics are amusing, because what exactly are they trying to prove by ganging up on someone. It is certainly no act of bravery or display of their manly prowess, its cowardice. Perhaps its to display their powerful social circle of people that we should not offend. Well if thats the case I have plenty of these friends too, they wear blue uniform, carry guns and best of all they come when and where I call. Thats power for you.

Things is, don't even try to be a gangster in singapore for your own good, theres is no future in singapore's secret society, you can't do anything big here! you kidnap you get hanged! you traffic drugs you get hanged! you rob a bank you'll get caught! While the gangsters overseas peddle drugs and do real hardcore stuff, look at what the majority of our singapore teenage gangsters are doing. Vcds! and they don't even have the cool suits the hong kong triads have. Meh.

II. Self righteous, Uptight, Judgmental Dicks.
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